










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1955 | 31% |
| Smokes | 961 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1619 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1705 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,018 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | 56% | 131 |
| #2 | Yin | 54% | 158 |
| #3 | Adobe Premiere Pro | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | ChewingFiveGum | 54% | 87 |
| #5 | Sticky | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ChewingFiveGum | 54% | 87 |
| #5 | Sticky | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | BACON | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | \Marnie/ | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | AsteroidsTM | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yin | 29 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | barndon | 29 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | ChewingFiveGum | 29 | 0.0173 |
| #4 | Adobe Premiere Pro | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | BACON | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yin | 509 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | barndon | 405 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | ChewingFiveGum | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | \Marnie/ | 92 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | AsteroidsTM | 53 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | +5.46 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Yin | +4.96 | 94 | 57 |
| #3 | Sticky | +3.75 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Adobe Premiere Pro | -0.66 | 32 | 18 |
| #5 | \Marnie/ | -1.84 | 55 | 45 |





