








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




171 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3573 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2672 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1971 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3166 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,163,466 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 508 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | 61% | 114 |
| #2 | Yin | 58% | 84 |
| #3 | Evil Wizard | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | Sticky | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | AsteroidsTM | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | 312 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Yin | 259 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | BACON | 238 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Evil Wizard | 202 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sticky | 106 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | +7.28 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | Sticky | +6.29 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | Yin | +5.89 | 95 | 57 |
| #4 | BACON | +1.13 | 51 | 54 |
| #5 | ChewingFiveGum | -0.56 | 52 | 44 |





