








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4214 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4025 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3271 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4105 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,555 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spencer | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Pawa | 63% | 48 |
| #3 | Mace | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | ChewingFiveGum | 58% | 84 |
| #5 | Argo :3 | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tempo | 57% | 23 |
| #9 | barndon | 56% | 233 |
| #10 | Evil Wizard | 54% | 158 |
| #11 | AsteroidsTM | 54% | 26 |
| #12 | \Marnie/ | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | 39 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | ChewingFiveGum | 21 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Mace | 15 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | Evil Wizard | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | AsteroidsTM | 5 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | 683 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | spencer | 282 | 0.42 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mace | 270 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | Evil Wizard | 219 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | KING VINNY | 140 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | +4.38 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | Yin | +3.44 | 92 | 59 |
| #3 | KING VINNY | +2.92 | 95 | 52 |
| #4 | Ashtonizer | +1.23 | 59 | 27 |
| #5 | Mace | +0.86 | 69 | 64 |





