








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 208 | 24% |
| Smokes | 242 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 130 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 282 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,994 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rawdog69 | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Aito Nacci | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | elQ | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | WilhelmTwister | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | DOGWATER | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Crusifer | 33% | 12 |
| #9 | Ryökäle | 33% | 18 |
| #10 | Vainottaja | 30% | 10 |
| #11 | Musti | 17% | 6 |
| #12 | Lvurl | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOGWATER | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Hiki | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Crusifer | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Lvurl | 2 | 0.0180 |
| #5 | Vainottaja | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiki | 79 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | DOGWATER | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | WilhelmTwister | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lvurl | 20 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | Crusifer | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WilhelmTwister | +2.94 | 63 | 69 |
| #2 | Hiki | +1.95 | 76 | 85 |
| #3 | Sonni | +1.36 | 74 | 44 |
| #4 | Crusifer | +1.15 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | elQ | +0.81 | 81 | 65 |





