








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,894 | |
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2110 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2696 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3643 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2911 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,552 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thicc.God | 54% | 85 |
| #2 | Psychedelic | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | ArveFraKenya | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | FocusBtw | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Squimsh | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | G2 Alloyy | 40% | 55 |
| #13 | 964 | 39% | 28 |
| #14 | TGWM | 39% | 51 |
| #15 | Swapeway | 39% | 31 |
| #16 | *sad cat noises* | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿⛟ | 32 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | G2 Alloyy | 19 | 0.0173 |
| #3 | voldN | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Faisch | 13 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | *sad cat noises* | 10 | 0.0198 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿⛟ | 385 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | voldN | 369 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Vazonite | 158 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kawppa | 125 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Faisch | 119 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vazonite | +2.87 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | Faisch | +2.46 | 66 | 45 |
| #3 | monke | +1.86 | 79 | 46 |
| #4 | Thicc.God | +1.25 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | G2 Alloyy | +0.99 | 56 | 31 |





