








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2594 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1700 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2379 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1028 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,466,462 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | french girl power | 43% | 72 |
| #7 | Psychedelic | 42% | 198 |
| #8 | monke | 40% | 55 |
| #9 | *sad cat noises* | 38% | 78 |
| #10 | Warlix | 30% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faisch | 118 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | ♿⛟ | 48 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | french girl power | 27 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | *sad cat noises* | 21 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Squimsh | 18 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faisch | 1053 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | ♿⛟ | 544 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Squimsh | 220 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Swapeway | 181 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Warlix | 153 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | +6.42 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | monke | +3.17 | 78 | 52 |
| #3 | Faisch | +2.98 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | G2 Alloyy | +2.20 | 57 | 32 |
| #5 | ♿⛟ | +0.51 | 73 | 54 |





