








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1261 | 42% |
| Smokes | 545 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1027 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 143 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,677 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp2Pimp | 45% | 31 |
| #2 | justblaze | 45% | 85 |
| #3 | Cocaina Supremo | 41% | 27 |
| #4 | PantPooper | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | jshipp | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | justblaze | 45% | 85 |
| #3 | Cocaina Supremo | 41% | 27 |
| #4 | PantPooper | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | jshipp | 28% | 29 |
| #6 | Ian | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | jshipp | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Ian | 4 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | PantPooper | 4 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Cocaina Supremo | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | 226 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ian | 62 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cocaina Supremo | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | jshipp | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | PantPooper | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | +6.74 | 91 | 52 |
| #2 | Ian | -0.46 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | jshipp | -1.27 | 77 | 37 |
| #4 | PantPooper | -1.58 | 41 | 31 |
| #5 | Cocaina Supremo | -2.53 | 49 | 34 |





