








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6113 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4249 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3598 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,245 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evanqg1 | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | xFerSureMaybex | 55% | 86 |
| #3 | ImSundayz | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Speshul Playur | 53% | 122 |
| #5 | Chase | 51% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom Logan | 31 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | Speshul Playur | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Snugs | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Chase | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | weo | 11 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 682 | 0.34 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tom Logan | 417 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Captain Util | 324 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Snugs | 244 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Speshul Playur | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿j0NESY♿ | +4.03 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Chase | +3.64 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | weo | +1.56 | 57 | 28 |
| #4 | SKELETRIX ISLAND LOVER 666 | +0.96 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | Captain Util | -1.15 | 67 | 57 |





