








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2398 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1435 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1816 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1589 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,687 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2047 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKELETRIX ISLAND LOVER 666 | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | ♿j0NESY♿ | 53% | 122 |
| #3 | xFerSureMaybex | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | tip | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 19 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | ♿j0NESY♿ | 17 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | ImSundayz | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Snugs | 11 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | Tom Logan | 9 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 521 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #2 | ♿j0NESY♿ | 414 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | ImSundayz | 284 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tom Logan | 272 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Snugs | 269 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿j0NESY♿ | +4.29 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Chase | +3.80 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | tip | +3.39 | 65 | 49 |
| #4 | SKELETRIX ISLAND LOVER 666 | +2.25 | 59 | 47 |
| #5 | | +0.94 | 61 | 56 |





