








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1813 | 35% |
| Smokes | 996 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1541 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 759 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,234 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Chase | 44% | 72 |
| #10 | Tom Logan | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | kakashi hatake | 40% | 35 |
| #12 | Speshul Playur | 37% | 49 |
| #13 | Snugs | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Snugs | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | ♿j0NESY♿ | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Speshul Playur | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | evanqg1 | 4 | 0.0145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 570 | 0.39 | 12 min |
| #2 | ♿j0NESY♿ | 231 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Snugs | 225 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tom Logan | 122 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Speshul Playur | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |





