








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 2,278 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 687 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1224 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,173 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lapa | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | wilper | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Tukka๐๐๐๐๐๐ | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | EngiFish | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | zeNitH | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jepzonใ | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | vego666 | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | yGy | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | hatman | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | ned | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeNitH | 8 | 0.0537 |
| #2 | Jepzonใ | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | hatman | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | dogo | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | EngiFish | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hatman | 99 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | zeNitH | 57 | 0.38 | 1 min |
| #3 | dogo | 43 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jepzonใ | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lapa | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matz๐ | +3.67 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | vego666 | +1.08 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | hatman | +1.04 | 48 | 85 |
| #4 | wilper | +0.26 | 82 | 77 |
| #5 | zeNitH | -0.27 | 60 | 49 |





