








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 804 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1146 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1141 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $315,117 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hatman | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | meLty | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Matz😀 | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Jepzonツ | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Jasse | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Leiska | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Jonesy | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | Lepa | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | vego666 | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | yGy | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonesy | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Lepa | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | hatman | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Matz😀 | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Jepzonツ | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hatman | 149 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | meLty | 73 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lepa | 59 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jonesy | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Leiska | 50 | 0.37 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matz😀 | +3.49 | 64 | 73 |
| #2 | Lapa | +2.46 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | hatman | +1.45 | 51 | 87 |
| #4 | meLty | +1.05 | 76 | 78 |
| #5 | vego666 | +0.92 | 72 | 73 |





