








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 587 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5819 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4067 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4344 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2085 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,318,965 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xp4nd | 60% | 198 |
| #2 | Syrex⊕ | 56% | 214 |
| #3 | mussukka | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Sementtisetä | 53% | 280 |
| #5 | Zokkine | 52% | 362 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mussukka | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Sementtisetä | 53% | 280 |
| #5 | Zokkine | 52% | 362 |
| #6 | bl4nk | 50% | 80 |
| #7 | Kroko | 50% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sementtisetä | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Zokkine | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Syrex⊕ | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Kroko | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Xp4nd | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sementtisetä | 640 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Xp4nd | 456 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Kroko | 358 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Zokkine | 307 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #5 | bl4nk | 115 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kroko | +2.69 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | Xp4nd | +2.42 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | jorenzo | +0.39 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Sementtisetä | +0.26 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | bl4nk | +0.02 | 74 | 39 |





