








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 977 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1301 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 448 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,770 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonnyS | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | λ hönö | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | Kroko | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Sementtisetä | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | jorenzo | 50% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mussukka | 50% | 90 |
| #7 | Syrex⊕ | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | Flyys | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | BananaBread29 | 41% | 61 |
| #10 | Zokkine | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jorenzo | 18 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | mussukka | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Sementtisetä | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | λ hönö | 6 | 0.0201 |
| #5 | BananaBread29 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jorenzo | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Flyys | 142 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sementtisetä | 101 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | mussukka | 82 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | JonnyS | 61 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonnyS | +3.30 | 64 | 77 |
| #2 | Kroko | +1.98 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | Sementtisetä | +1.47 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | jorenzo | +1.14 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | λ hönö | +0.81 | 68 | 36 |





