








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1759 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1049 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2473 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1957 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,036 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDK | 43% | 118 |
| #2 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 43% | 109 |
| #3 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 43% | 42 |
| #4 | -VerifY;- | 40% | 63 |
| #5 | $enor Rat @ttack | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 43% | 109 |
| #3 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 43% | 42 |
| #4 | -VerifY;- | 40% | 63 |
| #5 | $enor Rat @ttack | 39% | 51 |
| #6 | DTK | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | LDK | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | $enor Rat @ttack | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | DTK | 3 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDK | 603 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 262 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | -VerifY;- | 184 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | $enor Rat @ttack | 73 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDK | +2.78 | 59 | 68 |
| #2 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | +2.31 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | +2.08 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | DTK | +1.94 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | $enor Rat @ttack | +1.81 | 66 | 58 |





