








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3009 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2663 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1446 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1718 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,384,195 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retribution | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 46% | 132 |
| #3 | LDK | 45% | 89 |
| #4 | Skull Ripper | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 42% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 46% | 132 |
| #3 | LDK | 45% | 89 |
| #4 | Skull Ripper | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 42% | 62 |
| #6 | NPX π | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 22 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | LDK | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | NPX π | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Skull Ripper | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LDK | 440 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | 350 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | NPX π | 193 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | 125 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | retribution | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retribution | +1.80 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | $enor Rat @ttack | +1.62 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | LDK | +0.67 | 55 | 68 |
| #4 | π§Ώπ¨π‘πͺπ¦¦πͺ¬π‘πͺ© | +0.46 | 77 | 58 |
| #5 | πβ€οΈππ€£ππ₯Ίπ | +0.44 | 81 | 58 |





