










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 67 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1035 | 39% |
| Smokes | 442 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 690 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 519 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,524 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calcifer | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | destroy | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | alice | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | Chika | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | ✪Vince✪ | 63% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Mythical | 50% | 6 |
| #13 | Ani | 42% | 12 |
| #14 | Armada | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | Xman0311 | 40% | 20 |
| #16 | FlameReject | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlphaOwl | 124 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kovac | 62 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪Vince✪ | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | 1616 | 42 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chika | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xman0311 | +5.70 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | calcifer | +4.71 | 53 | 61 |
| #3 | alice | +2.94 | 84 | 30 |
| #4 | mbyy | +1.87 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | destroy | +0.46 | 81 | 67 |





