








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1768 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1514 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1673 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1450 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,480 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LamashTu | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Face^ | 47% | 121 |
| #3 | th0kesh__ | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | darK | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | Solo | 40% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | darK | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | Solo | 40% | 126 |
| #6 | qwerty; | 39% | 56 |
| #7 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | 38% | 73 |
| #8 | cRusN!k | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darK | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Solo | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | qwerty; | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Face^ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Face^ | 663 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #2 | Solo | 301 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | darK | 232 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | 224 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | qwerty; | 206 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LamashTu | +1.55 | 54 | 50 |
| #2 | Face^ | +1.17 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | +0.95 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | qwerty; | +0.52 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | darK | +0.04 | 51 | 56 |





