








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 35% |
| Smokes | 860 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 864 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 910 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,084 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LamashTu | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Face^ | 46% | 133 |
| #3 | qwerty; | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | sKy | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | th0kesh__ | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sKy | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | th0kesh__ | 40% | 55 |
| #6 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | 40% | 91 |
| #7 | Solo | 39% | 145 |
| #8 | cRusN!k | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solo | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Face^ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | sKy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | qwerty; | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Face^ | 801 | 0.29 | 22 min |
| #2 | Solo | 380 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | sKy | 273 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | 256 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | qwerty; | 178 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwerty; | +1.66 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | Face^ | +1.61 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | +0.68 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | LamashTu | +0.19 | 51 | 58 |
| #5 | darK | -0.66 | 50 | 56 |





