








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4059 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5719 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3449 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4466 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,345,517 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | LamashTu | 47% | 275 |
| #3 | Solo | 46% | 297 |
| #4 | sKy | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | cRusN!k | 44% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cRusN!k | 44% | 131 |
| #6 | SocieTea | 44% | 96 |
| #7 | Face^ | 43% | 44 |
| #8 | darK | 40% | 55 |
| #9 | pds | 39% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solo | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | LamashTu | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | pds | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | SocieTea | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Face^ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solo | 655 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | LamashTu | 384 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | SocieTea | 315 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | pds | 292 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | cRusN!k | 225 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solo | +1.19 | 52 | 69 |
| #2 | SocieTea | +0.58 | 76 | 57 |
| #3 | Face^ | +0.06 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | -0.14 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | LamashTu | -0.26 | 54 | 61 |





