








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1462 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1178 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 680 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 892 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $311,783 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LamashTu | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | th0kesh__ | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | qwerty; | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | Face^ | 40% | 90 |
| #5 | darK | 40% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Face^ | 40% | 90 |
| #5 | darK | 40% | 91 |
| #6 | cRusN!k | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | sKy | 38% | 73 |
| #8 | Solo | 37% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solo | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | darK | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Face^ | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | sKy | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | qwerty; | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Face^ | 573 | 0.30 | 16 min |
| #2 | Solo | 216 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | darK | 203 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | sKy | 176 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | qwerty; | 144 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Face^ | +1.94 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | Th[o]R- Broken Pad :( | +0.81 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | LamashTu | -0.24 | 54 | 62 |
| #4 | qwerty; | -0.40 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | darK | -0.71 | 48 | 56 |





