








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Esplay | 22 matches | 1,667 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3962 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4607 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3249 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3336 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,460 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | 35 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Sloba ♔♔♔ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ♡ icy | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | S0kken | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Whamos | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ icy | 321 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | pazzy | 221 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Whamos | 221 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gull Baronen | 200 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kruger | 194 | 0.27 | 5 min |





