










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2217 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1972 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2143 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,975 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f u c k | 48% | 270 |
| #2 | Dspire | 47% | 105 |
| #3 | Sim | 46% | 209 |
| #4 | Dr.ChooChoo | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | SETT _Trading | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sim | 46% | 209 |
| #4 | Dr.ChooChoo | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | SETT _Trading | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | Tolman's Totalitarian Creamery | 44% | 71 |
| #7 | Bart Harley Jarvis | 43% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f u c k | 62 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Sim | 42 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Bart Harley Jarvis | 19 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Tolman's Totalitarian Creamery | 13 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Dspire | 11 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f u c k | 1108 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | Sim | 798 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | Dspire | 356 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bart Harley Jarvis | 310 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tolman's Totalitarian Creamery | 141 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SETT _Trading | +3.38 | 82 | 35 |
| #2 | Tolman's Totalitarian Creamery | +3.09 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | Sim | +2.49 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | f u c k | +2.32 | 78 | 46 |
| #5 | Dspire | +1.47 | 74 | 60 |





