








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4499 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3971 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3966 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3800 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,724,781 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYLOO Dank1ng | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Indy | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | SETT _Trading | 56% | 78 |
| #4 | Sizandyy | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Dspire | 53% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | f u c k | 52% | 350 |
| #7 | Tolman's Totalitarian Creamery | 50% | 117 |
| #8 | lomo | 46% | 209 |
| #9 | Bart Harley Jarvis | 45% | 245 |
| #10 | Dr.ChooChoo | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f u c k | 42 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Bart Harley Jarvis | 22 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Dspire | 17 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | lomo | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Tolman's Totalitarian Creamery | 9 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f u c k | 1680 | 0.24 | 42 min |
| #2 | Dspire | 716 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | lomo | 360 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bart Harley Jarvis | 347 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Tolman's Totalitarian Creamery | 303 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TYLOO Dank1ng | +7.33 | 92 | 37 |
| #2 | SETT _Trading | +3.43 | 75 | 43 |
| #3 | Sim | +1.81 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Sizandyy | +1.80 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | f u c k | +1.12 | 77 | 49 |





