








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 195 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 945 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1064 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 258 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,292 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 52% | 50 |
| #2 | ----Noah---- | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | .c0tinamid | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | jonny | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 52% | 50 |
| #2 | ----Noah---- | 49% | 61 |
| #3 | .c0tinamid | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | jonny | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .c0tinamid | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Jasper | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ----Noah---- | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | jonny | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasper | 258 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | .c0tinamid | 224 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | ----Noah---- | 172 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | jonny | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonny | +1.99 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | Sockstwo | +1.53 | 77 | 46 |
| #3 | Jasper | +1.38 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | ----Noah---- | -0.77 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | .c0tinamid | -0.90 | 70 | 56 |





