








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 418 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




196 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9088 | 49% |
| Smokes | 3621 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2842 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3144 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,758,749 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4011 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veteran | 73% | 48 |
| #2 | qty | 68% | 53 |
| #3 | spongebob fancypants | 65% | 48 |
| #4 | 𐂃𐂃 | 63% | 96 |
| #5 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 61% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ☠ | 51% | 94 |
| #12 | eric | 50% | 86 |
| #13 | cooms in my burrito | 49% | 110 |
| #14 | bobby mum | 49% | 84 |
| #15 | FurryWalrus | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 53 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 41 | 0.0285 |
| #3 | Quudi | 30 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | 𐂃𐂃 | 19 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Joey ''coco'' Diaz | 16 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joey ''coco'' Diaz | 451 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 296 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Quudi | 240 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | ☠ | 203 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | eric | 185 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eric | +3.68 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | spongebob fancypants | +3.47 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | +2.84 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +2.31 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | ☠ | +1.18 | 66 | 55 |





