








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 343 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3913 | 51% |
| Smokes | 484 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 1419 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1855 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,730,558 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 994 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spongebob fancypants | 68% | 44 |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃 | 60% | 78 |
| #3 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 59% | 187 |
| #4 | egg ✮⋆˙ | 58% | 59 |
| #5 | cooms in my burrito | 58% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Dr. wA | 56% | 103 |
| #9 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 55% | 193 |
| #10 | ☠ | 53% | 95 |
| #11 | ★Komi | 50% | 34 |
| #12 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 51 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 35 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 21 | 0.0223 |
| #4 | 𐂃𐂃 | 13 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | eric | 8 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 447 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 357 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | ☠ | 196 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | eric | 171 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | st0rmsyy ♡ | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eric | +4.20 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | spongebob fancypants | +3.34 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | st0rmsyy ♡ | +3.26 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | ☠ | +2.72 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | +2.60 | 71 | 48 |





