








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 700 | 9% |
| Smokes | 2905 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1517 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2902 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $922,002 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 653 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 53% | 129 |
| #12 | cooms in my burrito | 47% | 135 |
| #13 | ☠ | 45% | 116 |
| #14 | Sorry | 44% | 99 |
| #15 | Lytl Piykl | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 31 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 25 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | ☠ | 14 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Quudi | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | 𐂃𐂃 | 7 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 269 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 245 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | ☠ | 243 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | eric | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Quudi | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eric | +7.26 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | eric | +6.99 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | spongebob fancypants | +6.26 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | eric | +4.78 | 79 | 68 |
| #5 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | +3.44 | 80 | 45 |





