








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 471 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 8% |
| Smokes | 4173 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5619 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8448 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,252,564 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | eric | 47% | 110 |
| #8 | eric | 45% | 44 |
| #9 | ☠ | 44% | 183 |
| #10 | 𐂃𐂃 | 42% | 52 |
| #11 | Sean (Deployed) | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 73 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | ☠ | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 20 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Quudi | 18 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Lytl Piykl | 9 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝnolɐM ʎobʍoƆ | 727 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | ☠ | 369 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | huh??? (feet sniffer) | 247 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | eric | 201 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Quudi | 148 | 0.06 | 4 min |





