








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 558 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5032 | 19% |
| Smokes | 8451 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6785 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5580 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,476,511 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 885 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jadibuti | 56% | 94 |
| #2 | DemiGOD | 56% | 127 |
| #3 | Co1t | 54% | 138 |
| #4 | deadman | 54% | 95 |
| #5 | Div | 52% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | deadman | 54% | 95 |
| #5 | Div | 52% | 111 |
| #6 | baller | 50% | 109 |
| #7 | Baljeet Tjinder | 49% | 59 |
| #8 | Optimus__Prime | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baller | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Div | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | DemiGOD | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | deadman | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Jadibuti | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DemiGOD | 361 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Co1t | 357 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Div | 317 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | baller | 247 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | deadman | 171 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baller | +1.50 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | Div | +0.98 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | deadman | +0.92 | 60 | 72 |
| #4 | Jadibuti | +0.73 | 59 | 60 |
| #5 | DemiGOD | +0.67 | 55 | 72 |





