








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 412 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5224 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4835 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5676 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4441 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,508 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kr3uL | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | baller | 52% | 149 |
| #3 | Vi$ | 52% | 111 |
| #4 | Ch3rry | 51% | 85 |
| #5 | deadman | 50% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baller | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Vi$ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Ch3rry | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | r0ny | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | deadman | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baller | 355 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | EgLeO | 296 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | deadman | 291 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Co1t | 242 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Vi$ | 230 | 0.10 | 5 min |





