








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 218 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1894 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1633 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 835 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1382 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,201 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uppers | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Jacktheaus | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | H a v o c | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | BELLY | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | Bay | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BELLY | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | Bay | 59% | 22 |
| #6 | Torque | 57% | 14 |
| #7 | coops | 57% | 127 |
| #8 | thankyou for sunshine | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coops | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | BELLY | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | H a v o c | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coops | 577 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | thankyou for sunshine | 291 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | BELLY | 149 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | H a v o c | 87 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bay | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BELLY | +2.82 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | Jacktheaus | +1.65 | 68 | 74 |
| #3 | mpr | +1.58 | 87 | 53 |
| #4 | coops | +1.45 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | Torque | +1.09 | 75 | 61 |





