








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 207 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3790 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2309 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3269 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $531,824 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supersleeper9876 | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Machine -E- #RtP | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | thankyou for sunshine | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | arcteryxgloves | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | mpr | 57% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Machine -E- #RtP | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | thankyou for sunshine | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | arcteryxgloves | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | mpr | 57% | 127 |
| #6 | Bay | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Machine -E- #RtP | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mpr | 303 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Bay | 145 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | thankyou for sunshine | 145 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | arcteryxgloves | 144 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Machine -E- #RtP | 121 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supersleeper9876 | +5.54 | 95 | 68 |
| #2 | mpr | +2.13 | 87 | 52 |
| #3 | Machine -E- #RtP | +1.73 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | coops | +1.61 | 83 | 63 |
| #5 | Bay | +0.23 | 75 | 75 |





