








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3342 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3097 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3234 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3615 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,224 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Whinnie | 68% | 74 |
| #9 | Gronkowski | 64% | 115 |
| #10 | Am Gunter | 63% | 19 |
| #11 | mpr | 59% | 22 |
| #12 | coops | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gronkowski | 23 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ultirox | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Jay | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | JohnSm1th | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | exion | 4 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gronkowski | 526 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jay | 431 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #3 | ultirox | 249 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Whinnie | 221 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | coops | 218 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ultirox | +4.20 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | JohnSm1th | +3.38 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | Whinnie | +2.30 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | PaPaDoxie | +2.25 | 87 | 73 |
| #5 | mpr | +2.03 | 85 | 46 |





