








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3388 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2539 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4396 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1998 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,925 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pdr | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | griN* [- TSG -] | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | F0nLLEN | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | F0nTastic | 50% | 60 |
| #5 | Kimbo Slice | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | qu!xote | 42% | 81 |
| #11 | OvElHa | 39% | 28 |
| #12 | DJ F2P | 36% | 22 |
| #13 | B4ckline | 33% | 60 |
| #14 | pumb4 | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ F2P | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Kimbo Slice | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Bubble | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Pdr | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | qu!xote | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimbo Slice | 187 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Bubble | 170 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | BRZCAS dNz- | 149 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | qu!xote | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sam | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pdr | +4.49 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | Kimbo Slice | +1.79 | 64 | 67 |
| #3 | griN* [- TSG -] | +1.75 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | F0nLLEN | +1.63 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | Bubble | +1.51 | 66 | 63 |





