








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1665 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2546 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2151 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,146 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | OvElHa | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Pdr | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Kimbo Slice | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Bubble | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Madruga | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | Link | 42% | 81 |
| #8 | Naneiders | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | B4ckline | 41% | 54 |
| #10 | pumb4 | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Link | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | B4ckline | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Sam | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Pdr | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Kimbo Slice | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Link | 178 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kimbo Slice | 128 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bubble | 111 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sam | 68 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | B4ckline | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pdr | +9.28 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Kimbo Slice | +2.22 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Sam | +1.67 | 50 | 73 |
| #4 | qu!xote | +0.62 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | Link | +0.08 | 47 | 60 |





