








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3978 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2692 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3191 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1561 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,265,011 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EinenKiffn? | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | HENTAI! E!1ASSS | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | PhilSee | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Nicht Moneyboy | 51% | 229 |
| #5 | yeet | 51% | 271 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | yeet | 51% | 271 |
| #6 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | 48% | 83 |
| #7 | Once | 48% | 144 |
| #8 | Raptor | 47% | 158 |
| #9 | MischiMieze | 45% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Nicht Moneyboy | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Raptor | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Once | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 915 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Once | 348 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Nicht Moneyboy | 319 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Raptor | 172 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | 139 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | +2.45 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | ๋ | +1.05 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | +0.27 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Nicht Moneyboy | -0.13 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | MischiMieze | -0.64 | 69 | 60 |





