








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 447 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5320 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3732 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6421 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4204 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,703,804 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | fragility | 51% | 43 |
| #6 | ๋ | 51% | 229 |
| #7 | Raptor | 47% | 186 |
| #8 | MischiMieze | 47% | 170 |
| #9 | EinenKiffn? | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ๋ | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Raptor | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Once | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | MischiMieze | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 1402 | 0.16 | 34 min |
| #2 | ๋ | 761 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Once | 458 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | 198 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Raptor | 185 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | +2.89 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | +0.90 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | ๋ | +0.53 | 82 | 53 |
| #4 | fragility | +0.15 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | Nicht Moneyboy | -0.00 | 50 | 59 |





