








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3383 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2263 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,803,851 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ling Ling | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Onkel Pillo | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Once | 52% | 154 |
| #4 | yeet | 49% | 266 |
| #5 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | T1D3 | 47% | 30 |
| #9 | VitoX | 47% | 43 |
| #10 | EinenKiffn? | 46% | 46 |
| #11 | PhilSee | 44% | 45 |
| #12 | MischiMieze | 39% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ๋ | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Ling Ling | 5 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Nicht Moneyboy | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Once | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 805 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | ๋ | 491 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Once | 373 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | Nicht Moneyboy | 252 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | 143 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ling Ling | +4.88 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | yeet | +3.11 | 75 | 72 |
| #3 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | +1.07 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | ๋ | +0.27 | 83 | 52 |
| #5 | Nicht Moneyboy | -0.19 | 52 | 59 |





