








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1653 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4828 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3740 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3764 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,364,439 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarlseN | 62% | 50 |
| #2 | Kuro | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | EinenKiffn? | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | StaN | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ๋ | 45% | 117 |
| #12 | Once | 45% | 124 |
| #13 | PhilSee | 42% | 43 |
| #14 | HENTAI! E!1ASSS | 41% | 41 |
| #15 | Raptor | 39% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Raptor | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ๋ | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Once | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | PhilSee | 5 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 603 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | ๋ | 399 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Once | 279 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nicht Moneyboy | 222 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Obdachlos | 165 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | +2.96 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | KarlseN | +2.48 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | Kuro | +2.48 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | HENTAI! !*Btch*Please*! | +1.81 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | Obdachlos | +0.81 | 79 | 73 |





