








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 500 | 30% |
| Smokes | 413 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 366 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,352 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ne0soft | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Eggle | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Pringles | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | MoneyDownTheDrain.com | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | W1ndefelt | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | mute | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | Goose | 43% | 14 |
| #12 | sukuna | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | Melone | 20% | 5 |
| #14 | Thesuperfan | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pringles | 3 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Goose | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Eggle | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | sukuna | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | mute | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggle | +5.60 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | W1ndefelt | +4.37 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | mute | +3.42 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | sakura | +2.26 | 80 | 82 |
| #5 | Goose | +1.87 | 79 | 49 |





