








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2250 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2649 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1906 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2092 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,713 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | therealajbtw | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Ne0soft | 62% | 69 |
| #4 | Pringles | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | mute | 52% | 48 |
| #6 | !just jumpin around! | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pringles | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Ne0soft | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | mute | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | !just jumpin around! | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | therealajbtw | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ne0soft | 262 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Pringles | 151 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | mute | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | !just jumpin around! | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | therealajbtw | 73 | 0.12 | 1 min |





