








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1291 | 39% |
| Smokes | 389 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 887 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,167 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Makka Pakka | 30 | 0.0232 |
| #2 | Trev | 20 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | RedMan | 16 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | Chinese Biggie | 9 | 0.0202 |
| #5 | James | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedMan | 135 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Trev | 132 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Makka Pakka | 120 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | James | 120 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chinese Biggie | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James | +5.30 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Chinese Biggie | +3.03 | 49 | 51 |
| #3 | Tuff AU | +1.30 | 66 | 37 |
| #4 | Owen | +1.20 | 50 | 25 |
| #5 | Trev | +1.08 | 68 | 48 |





