








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 349 | 41% |
| Smokes | 139 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 234 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 131 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $60,041 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | RedMan | 41% | 46 |
| #9 | RULE BY ADO | 40% | 65 |
| #10 | Chinese Biggie | 37% | 38 |
| #11 | Trev | 33% | 48 |
| #12 | Maltszy | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RULE BY ADO | 27 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Trev | 15 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | Chinese Biggie | 12 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | RedMan | 11 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | James | 9 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RULE BY ADO | 229 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | James | 171 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | RedMan | 132 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Trev | 102 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chinese Biggie | 97 | 0.13 | 1 min |





