








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2472 | 34% |
| Smokes | 898 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1813 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,098 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 796 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | sAinT ... | ... | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | KOKKIES | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | platu | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 62% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tragedy | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | prof Blue | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | CrUnKz™ | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | JAN-T@P | 38% | 24 |
| #11 | DeltaElite | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeltaElite | 5 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | KOKKIES | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | ♕ MadCap ♕ | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | JAN-T@P | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeltaElite | 108 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | KOKKIES | 99 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tinky Winky | 95 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tragedy | 70 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOKKIES | +2.59 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | platu | +1.82 | 70 | 37 |
| #3 | Smacksie | +1.39 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | DeltaElite | +1.35 | 63 | 71 |
| #5 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | +1.12 | 42 | 56 |





