








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 392 matches | 1,770 | |
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2561 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3515 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3763 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4057 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,353,378 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjorben & Thorsen was here mos m | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Tjorben | 57% | 211 |
| #3 | WooWoP | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | TW♠-♦ | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | BB | Kiddinho | 50% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Extnat ⛟ | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Tjorben | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | BB | Kiddinho | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | stianhay9 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | WooWoP | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjorben | 472 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Julia Alina🌸 | 457 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | TW♠-♦ | 204 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | BB | Kiddinho | 193 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tjorben & Thorsen was here mos m | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tjorben | +4.88 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | TW♠-♦ | +4.55 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | BB | Kiddinho | +3.31 | 78 | 79 |
| #4 | Extnat ⛟ | +2.84 | 87 | 44 |
| #5 | Julia Alina🌸 | +1.90 | 81 | 59 |





