








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 716 matches | ||
| Wingman | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 154 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6281 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8340 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7926 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8920 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,285,618 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Death is Coming | 61% | 71 |
| #2 | -0PA- | 50% | 94 |
| #3 | Dave | 48% | 98 |
| #4 | SPEED81 | 43% | 189 |
| #5 | t!p | 35% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Death is Coming | 61% | 71 |
| #2 | -0PA- | 50% | 94 |
| #3 | Dave | 48% | 98 |
| #4 | SPEED81 | 43% | 189 |
| #5 | t!p | 35% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPEED81 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | The Death is Coming | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Dave | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | -0PA- | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | t!p | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPEED81 | 127 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | The Death is Coming | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dave | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | t!p | 27 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | -0PA- | 14 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0dj^ ___//// | +1.25 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | The Death is Coming | +0.57 | 58 | 54 |
| #3 | Dave | -0.54 | 45 | 48 |
| #4 | SPEED81 | -3.06 | 50 | 52 |
| #5 | -0PA- | -3.38 | 27 | 22 |





