








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 79 | 19% |
| Smokes | 78 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 96 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 156 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,894 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no1nder | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | intel uhd 620 | 40% | 134 |
| #3 | my jersey hangs in the rafters | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | lions | 40% | 58 |
| #5 | chrome hearts draco | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | my jersey hangs in the rafters | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | lions | 40% | 58 |
| #5 | chrome hearts draco | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | Ramsterdamus | 38% | 80 |
| #7 | lurker | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramsterdamus | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | intel uhd 620 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | lurker | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | lions | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | no1nder | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intel uhd 620 | 461 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | lions | 332 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #3 | Ramsterdamus | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | chrome hearts draco | 126 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | lurker | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no1nder | +3.79 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | my jersey hangs in the rafters | +1.42 | 65 | 59 |
| #3 | chrome hearts draco | +1.15 | 54 | 75 |
| #4 | lurker | +0.54 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | intel uhd 620 | -0.49 | 46 | 59 |





