








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1155 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1451 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 993 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 881 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,310 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrome hearts draco | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | honk honk | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Ramsterdamus | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | lions | 49% | 105 |
| #5 | lurker | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lurker | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Ramsterdamus | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | intel uhd 620 | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | chrome hearts draco | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | lions | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lions | 387 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | chrome hearts draco | 295 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #3 | lurker | 123 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | intel uhd 620 | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ramsterdamus | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my jersey hangs in the rafters | +3.20 | 71 | 49 |
| #2 | chrome hearts draco | +0.70 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | lurker | +0.56 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | honk honk | -0.75 | 76 | 46 |
| #5 | lions | -0.82 | 73 | 61 |





