








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 636 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11748 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9666 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9609 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6315 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,234,193 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | 61% | 287 |
| #2 | xIIK 侍 | 60% | 107 |
| #3 | Tosi | 59% | 257 |
| #4 | Phûûcc✔ | 57% | 186 |
| #5 | Blunk | 56% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Metr1ckZ | 56% | 203 |
| #7 | Skwi | 52% | 77 |
| #8 | FLAGADA ツ | 52% | 93 |
| #9 | AkA | 50% | 90 |
| #10 | LGDS | 49% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tosi | 44 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | ✪-Swag | 32 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Metr1ckZ | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Phûûcc✔ | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | xIIK 侍 | 9 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | 1018 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | Phûûcc✔ | 931 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #3 | Tosi | 894 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #4 | Blunk | 540 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | Metr1ckZ | 435 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪-Swag | +3.63 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | xIIK 侍 | +3.11 | 91 | 48 |
| #3 | SMECTA | +2.99 | 90 | 57 |
| #4 | Tosi | +1.56 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | Blunk | +0.62 | 75 | 69 |





